Most managers postpone feedback until it becomes a verdict — and then wonder why the conversation goes badly. The fix is a structure so simple it fits on an index card: Situation, Behavior, Impact. Then one question that changes everything.
The SBI model in 60 seconds
Instead of "your presentation was confusing," try: Situation — "In yesterday's client review"; Behavior — "the data section ran twelve minutes over and skipped the pricing slide"; Impact — "the client looked rushed and we lost time for questions." Facts first, judgment never. The person can disagree with your opinion, but they can't disagree with what happened — so defensiveness drops immediately.
The question that builds trust
After delivering the observation, ask: "What support would help?" Those four words convert you from judge to ally. Sometimes the answer is training; sometimes it's permission to say no to a conflicting priority; sometimes they already know exactly what to fix and just needed the mirror. Either way, the improvement plan becomes theirs — which is the only kind that works.
People don't resist feedback. They resist feeling powerless. Give them the pen.
Frequency beats drama
Annual feedback is an ambush; weekly feedback is a habit. A two-minute SBI note after a meeting normalizes growth talk until reviews feel like summaries, not surprises. Start this Friday with one genuine piece of positive SBI — trust is built in deposits, and you'll need the balance when harder conversations come.
Difficult conversations are rehearsed live in leadership coaching — bring the one you've been postponing.
